Golfcitat / Golf Quotes

P.G. Wodehouse

The least thing upset him on the links.  He missed short putts because of the uproar of butterflies in the adjoining meadows.

”After all, golf is only a game,” said Millicent.  Women say these things without thinking.  It does not mean that there is a kink in their character.  They simply don’t realise what they are saying.

Golf, like measles, should be caught young.

Sudden success in golf is like the sudden acquisition of wealth. It is apt to unsettle and deteriorate the character.

He was white and shaken, like a dry martini.

To find a man’s true character, play golf with him.

Golf… is the infallible test. The man who can go into a patch of rough alone, with the knowledge that only God is watching him, and play his ball where it lies, is the man who will serve you faithfully and well.

Citat av tourspelare / Quotes by tour players

Golf is the most fun you can have without taking your clothes off.

~Chi Chi Rodriguez

I’m about five inches from being an outstanding golfer. That’s the distance my left ear is from my right.

~ Ben Crenshaw

”If I had cleared the trees and drove the green, it would’ve been a great shot.”

~ Sam Snead

Don’t play too much golf.  Two rounds a day are plenty.

~Harry Vardon

His driving is unbelievable.  I don’t go that far on my holidays.

~Ian Baker-Finch, on John Daly

It takes hundreds of good golf shots to gain confidence, but only one bad one to lose it.

~ Jack Nicklaus

I have a tip that can take five strokes off anyone’s golf game:  it’s called an eraser.

~Arnold Palmer

Missing a short putt does not mean you have to hit your next drive out of bounds.

~ Henry Cotton

Golf is a game that is played on a five-inch course – the distance between your ears.

~Bobby Jones

Golf is the closest game to the game we call life. You get bad breaks from good shots; you get good breaks from bad shots – but you have to play the ball where it lies.

~ Bobby Jones

What other people may find in poetry or art museums, I find in the flight of a good drive.

~Arnold Palmer

I never learned anything from a match that I won.

~ Bobby Jones

Real pressure in golf is playing for $10 when you’ve only got $5 in your pocket.

~ Lee Trevino

”It is nothing new or original to say that golf is played one stroke at a time. But it took me many years to realize it.”
~ Bobby Jones

If your opponent is playing several shots in vain attempts to extricate himself from a bunker, do not stand near him and audibly count his strokes.  It would be justifiable homicide if he wound up his pitiable exhibition by applying his niblick to your head.

~Harry Vardon

Golf is the hardest game in the world. There is no way you can ever get it. Just when you think you do, the game jumps up and puts you in your place.

~ Ben Crenshaw

”A rough should have high grass. When you go bowling they don’t give you anything for landing in the gutter, do they?”
~ Lee Trevino

”If I had cleared the trees and drove the green, it would’ve been a great shot.”
~ Sam Snead

This is a game of misses. The guy who misses the best is going to win.

~ Ben Hogan

The first time I played the Masters, I was so nervous I drank a bottle of rum before I teed off.  I shot the happiest 83 of my life.

~Chi Chi Rodriguez

These greens are so fast I have to hold my putter over the ball and hit it with the shadow.

~Sam Snead

Through years of experience I have found that air offers less resistance than dirt.

~Jack Nicklaus, on why he tees his ball high.

”I look into their eyes, shake their hand, pat their back, and wish them luck, but I am thinking, ’I am going to bury you.'”

~ Seve Ballesteros

The older you get the stronger the wind gets… and it’s always in your face.

~ Jack Nicklaus

Golf is 20 percent talent and 80 percent management.
~ Ben Hogan

”I look into their eyes, shake their hand, pat their back, and wish them luck, but I am thinking, ’I am going to bury you.'”

~ Seve Ballesteros

One under a tree, one under a bush, one under the water.

~Lee Trevino, describing how he was one under during a tournament

Practice puts brains in your muscles.

~ Sam Snead

Hockey is a sport for white men.  Basketball is a sport for black men.  Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps.

~Tiger Woods

These greens are so fast I have to hold my putter over the ball and hit it with the shadow.

~ Sam Snead

Citat av andra passionerade golfare / Quotes by other passionate golfers

When the ducks are walking, you know it is too windy to be playing golf.

~ Dave Stockton

My handicap?  Woods and irons.

~Chris Codiroli

Fifty years ago, 100 white men chasing one black man across a field was called the Ku Klux Klan.  Today it’s called the PGA Tour.

~Author uncertain, attributed to Alex Hay

If I’m on the course and lightning starts, I get inside fast.  If God wants to play through, let him.

~Bob Hope

Golf is so popular simply because it is the best game in the world at which to be bad.

~A.A. Milne

It’s good sportsmanship not to pick up lost balls while they are still rolling.

~Mark Twain

If you drink, don’t drive.  Don’t even putt.

~Dean Martin

Golf is not a game, it’s bondage.  It was obviously devised by a man torn with guilt, eager to atone for his sins.

~Jim Murray

Sex and golf are the two things you can enjoy even if you’re not good at them.

~ Kevin Costner

The proper score for a businessman golfer is 90. If he is better than that he is neglecting his business. If he’s worse, he’s neglecting his golf.
~ St Andrews Rotary Club Member

Drugs are very much a part of professional sports today, but when you think about it, golf is the only sport where the players aren’t penalized for being on grass.

~Bob Hope

I went to play golf and tried to shoot my age, but I shot my weight instead.

~ Bob Hope

Golf is 20 percent mechanics and technique. The other 80 pecent is philosophy, humor, tragedy, romance, melodrama, companionship, camaraderie, cussedness and conversation.

~ Grantland Rice

To play golf you need goofy pants and a fat ass.

~ Happy Gilmore